This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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