K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
