i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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