Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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