I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
