Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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