why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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