in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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