just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
