her vagine was all disorganized.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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