last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
