I think I just saw someone hide a body.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize