That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Only a mothe r could love this liver
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper