only if we run a train.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.