3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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