either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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