Sry I called you an 8
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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