Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
