i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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