i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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