so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
