How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
