oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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