ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I met the friendliest cop last night
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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