she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize