New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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