i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
