yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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