Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
