If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
