I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
How external is "for external use only"?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
