Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
