we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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