I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Randomize