You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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