New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
