just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
