honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
