Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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