I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
So much Jack, so little girl.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
