IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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