Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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