I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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