She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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