Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
