My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Randomize
