My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize