My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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