dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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