I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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