we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
i've created a new STD.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
