If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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