If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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