youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
