Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
