you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
